Ministry Among People Living with Dementia

Ministry amongst people living with dementia is so rewarding and such a joy. One thing we can be sure in dementia is that the spiritual never dies and often as ones social layers peel off .. those that prevented one from following up on spiritual inclinations or knowing about Jesus in earlier days disappear. Many are far more open to listening, understanding and getting to know God better. Seniors can be considered less important than younger people but there’s a ripe harvest field out there… I have certainly seen that! We can still walk with God!

Familiar hymns can be a starting place as many attended schools which started with assemblies which included well known hymns. Almost all seniors know the Lords prayer and the 23rd psalm which can be very soothing and reassuring when distressed. I was once asked to calm a room full of people with dementia who had unexpectedly been ‘abandoned’, so I got them to sing ‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’ which they all thoroughly enjoyed. Another lady used to become so agitated that the staff could not calm her and when I was called I just suggested we said the lords prayer together and soon the staff did that too! Another time I was in a group situation and one person became so angry and rude she was spoiling it for everyone. Nothing seemed to help so I prayed and felt God saying to me ‘tell her she needs my peace’. Help!
I thought she will attack me, (she could become violent ) but when God says something one has to obey! So I interrupted her tirade and said “God has told me to tell you you need His peace”. She stopped, looked at me and bursting into tears said “I have been running away from Him for years”.

I have found that many people who work with older people with dementia have no idea that Jesus knew so much about dementia and also. how to deal with it. Those of us living with dementia cannot deal with sensory overload in whatever form whether its: large gatherings, noise,
unfamiliar people or places, travel, anything too complicated, too many expectations! And I think    Jesus knew that too when his dear friend Lazarus died he waited three days in the same place before facing the situation, being greeted by Mary who accused him of taking too long to arrive. The noise of all the professional mourners, the sorrow of the occasion, so many people all added up to sensory overload. It says Jesus was ‘deeply moved in spirit and troubled’ a word in the original meaning agitated, confused, fearful, falling apart? Like in Dementia! Then Jesus wept. I found this very reassuring because when I have a meltdown, which I do on occasion I weep …often it is tears streaming down my face rather than sobbing, I’m reassured knowing Jesus understands.

Jesus also knew how to deal with those having a meltdown. After his death and resurrection he appeared to his disciples in the upper room walking in through the closed locked door. They were terrified and went into meltdown, so what did he do? The first thing he did was to reassure them saying ‘Peace be with you’ reminding them who he was. On one such occasion he suggested Thomas came and touched him. Touch is so important for people in dementia. Then he gave then a simple task asking them to do something familiar, giving them purpose. He asked them to find him something to eat, enabling the disciples to act in the situation that showed them they could help him. So demonstrating three classical ways of dealing with people with dementia: reassurance, getting them to do something familiar, giving purpose and value.

After the resurrection when he met the disciples by the sea of Galilee, He did not tell Peter off for denying him three times, He gave him value and purpose .. giving him tasks to fulfil …loving and feeding his sheep. providing value and purpose as do carers who often get forgotten. I once asked carers how they felt about dementia they responded: sad, guilty, discouraged, overwhelmed, resentful, alone, angry, embarrassed, trapped, abandoned, frightened. I then asked those living with dementia who came up with exactly the same adjectives.

Churches need to provide warm inclusive welcomes and be prepared for interruptions. Services need to be short with one main point, which can be remembered with a simple visual aid. I have seen a toy lamb used to illustrate the story of the lost sheep and a bread roll for the bread of life, even sweets for bringing joy, but of course the sweets don’t last but Gods love does. Please ensure there are familiar hymns and no sudden surprises or expectations and enable socialising to be as easy as possible, even bringing the person a cup of tea in the church. Christmas and Easter are wonderful occasions for building on old memories.

Church buildings also need to be dementia friendly.. have accessible toilets with clear instructions ..how to lock and unlock the door .. turn on the taps …where is the soap .. how to dry hands, how to find ones way out of the facility which can be very frightening if not clearly labelled I know!

When I was asked to join a pastoral team in a large church I found the attitude to those with dementia just showed lack of understanding “Why visit they won’t remember”… or worse saying families would not visit relatives which was not true, the person with dementia had just forgotten. The visits need to be positive and supportive not patronising, we always remember the feelings left behind (there is a more detailed leaflet re visiting on my website under resources).

It is also important to support the carers who seem to get forgotten they also need a break, the church can help even if enabling them to have a 2 hour break on a regular basis. Churches can host lunch or tea clubs for the person with dementia and carer if appropriate, eating together is so helpful. Provide a quiet place to sit even give us a role. Many can still do a short bible reading but might not remember where they were sitting afterwards so need help! Some can help with Tea & Coffee. Many enjoy arranging flowers even if in a simple way.

Several years ago I ran devotions for people with dementia based on well known hymns. Premier Radio and a photographer for the scenic backgrounds enabled me to record 13 of these ..now all on my website here, each containing a bible reading prayer and short reflection around a well known hymn (with words shown on the screen). They are still being watched.

Dr Jennifer Bute has written a book Dementia from the Inside, find out more here.

Lots of other helpful resource can be found on Jennifer’s website Glorious Opportunity, including:

• Dementia inclusive churches leaflet

• Visiting someone with dementia leaflet – side 1 and side 2

• Other detailed leaflets under resources